Salam blog. Dah nak hujung tahun dah baru aku sampai sini. Alhamdulillah Allah masih pinjamkan aku umur di double 3 ni. Nothing much. Life just got better? Not really. Is gotten worse? Not that too. Hanya mengikut saja arus yang diatur Tuhan.
Singgah sini sebab I do have thoughts in my mind, it's just WHAT IF thoughts.. dalam islam tak boleh kalau-kalau ni. kan?
Haritu rezeki Allah bagi aku collab dengan sesuatu yang aku impikan, it's about travelling while working.. or vice versa? Balik je dari Langkawi, kengkawan kepada my new social media friends ni ramai jugak yang follow aku yang hina ni. wah hina. It's always been my dreams to be like her. She's passionate about travelling, solo travel sana sini, berani, full of curiosity, make friends pegi mana-mana.. The more I get to know her, the more I see.. the old me. I miss her. So kengkawan kepada my friend ni semuanya girls travellers. Yang memang jenis solo travel with backpacks, without purpose, just curiousity. I wonder if I met them earlier waaaaay before I decided to get married (at the age of 24), I must be one of them girls, kan? Umur pun lebih kurang sebaya je, so they must be millenials gen yang suka travel starts from umur 20an just like me! So what's stopping me then?
Aku tak bercerita perihal impianku. I -- always have passion in travelling. Not many knows, not even my partner. It never stops, the feels. Kadang-kadang jadi rebel sebab, sometimes I do questions myself why did I chose to be attached...to responsibilities? My goals after graduated was to work hard, kumpul duit and go travels. THATS IT. Not in my mind to switched the plans with something...unexpected.
It's just the thoughts. A thought that cant be express by words, to others. I love seeing all the girls solo travellers, go trips, make contents, enjoy their life to the max because I saw myself in them.. my old self. Macam lagu "that should be me" lah kan? IF I wasn't married at that age, I must be one of them girls yang travel travel travel... mesti banyak negara, banyak tempat yang aku dapat pergi. However, I found out that they're all single ladies. Which most of them are same age as me, but haven't married yet.
Today, I've been blessed with 3 kids and my husband in life. Alhamdulillah. The eldest is 8 years old. Life has been a rollercoaster ride too, for the past ten years. Without the need to do solo travelling. Dapatlah butterflies adrenaline jugak but in different ways. I guess we're all blessed differently, kan?
Deep down in my heart, I still want to pursue my dreams -- to travel around the world. Cara yang bagaimana, arah jalan yang mana -- semoga Allah tentukan yang terbaik untukku. Slow slow kumpul duit walaupun tahu isinya banyak bocor ke arah keluarga kecilku (it's the priorities business if you're a parent). Lapangkan lah rezeki kami, dari segala segi. Untuk keluarga kecilku, nantinya baru aku.
Ke mana jua arahnya, aku ikut saja, Tuhan.
