Unloved.

 I learn something big, today.

"I want you to eat, but not at my table".

If i love you, i wont hate you. Regardless anything happened between us, I,ll be wishing you all the best in life. Aku adalah seorang yang kalau sayang, aku sayang sehabisnya. I would do anything, ANYTHING for my love ones. As time goes by, I feel like I am unappreciated. I feel like i'm being used by.. you. After all the things we shared together.

Kau takkan faham bagaimana rasanya menjadi second option because you have everything that i didnt. Aku hanyalah tempat untuk kau bersandar di waktu kau susah. Tapi bila kau senang, aku bukan orang yang pertama untuk kau cari. Aku yang sayang kau sepenuh hati, berubah menjadi lawan kau. I believe i am the toxic one. You dont need me in your life anymore and i have to accept that. As we grow older, I believe I have to give us some spaces for us to... reflect. But you didnt. We just separated and make our own ways. I am still hopeful for us to be back like we used to. Sometimes i kinda miss us. we shared so much things... 

However, i can never unloved you. I can never unloved a person who i once love so much.. I can live with our memories and watching you from afar. WE will never be the same ever again. Thus, I am wishing you all the best in life and hereafter. I am happy knowing you are happy with your small family, I do feel sad if anything bad happens to you, I knew the news from others -- not from you -- not directly from you like we used to shared everything before.. We once shared happiness, sadness, excitement, joys EVERYHTHING.. Yes we were.. But now, here we are.

 I am happy seeing you eat, but not at my table.